Duck of Justice

The Duck of Justice for 8/17/17: TC’s paperboy reflections and intern appreciation

Maggie Mahaney, a student at The University of New Haven, as interned with The Bangor Police Department this summer.
Bangor Police Department

From the Bangor Police Department

The Duck Daily Sun-(a weekly), will not be found on our Facebook page on Thursday morning.

I did not name the paper. The Chief of Police did (from this point on to be referred to as C.O.P).

When he (C.O.P) came to the realization that the DDS (AW) would only be placed on the Facebook page on Thursday mornings, even he recognized the irony in the name.

Being the former Public Information Officer of the Bangor Police Department (and a former Bangor Daily News paperboy between 1974 and 1976) I was asked to find a solution that would make us look like we meant to name the weekly paper with the moniker of a daily. Thus, I added the words, “a weekly” in parenthesis.

Yes, it was the kind of public relations coup that only Frank and Claire Underwood could pull off. I did this by avoiding murder and blackmail. I did this by adding two simple words. The parenthesis were an afterthought.

#clairewouldbeproud

#daymade

#formerpaperboygenius

So this is only to tell you that I failed to make the deadline this week, but will work very hard to earn back your trust by getting it done sometime next week.

Don’t get all whiney and call our office because you cannot find the Daily (a weekly) in your virtual Facebook mailbox.

I have no staff or any experience outside the of delivery of newspapers around Machias, Maine in the early 70s.

I rode a girls bike because the baskets I needed to carry the paper would not fit on my red Western Auto stingray bicycle.

I knew the “street cred” from the banana seat would all but be erased by the metal baskets.

I also knew that my dad’s Old Spice would never be the panacea that the fisherman in the cable knit sweater carrying a sea-bag made it out to be during the commercials between quarters of the Sunday NFL games.

Yeah, it was a turquoise girl’s bike. What are you gonna do about it?

The lower crossbar more than likely was a major reason I was able to father a child after the total loss of brakes while riding down the hill from the University of Maine at Machias and suddenly realizing that Dr. Nackley’s basset hound was in the street.

Some folks did not get their Sears and Roebuck flyers that week, but I was fine.

#nopaperforyou

We will try again next week.

Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.

Tip your paperboy, you cheap rascals.

We like Maggie Mahaney.

We were just surprised that she wanted to work with us this summer. She seemed to have a really good time.

For the rest of us it’s been a living nightmare. But that is only because the snack machine on the second level ran out of peanut M&Ms in June.

The exciting news for us (and Maggie) is that no one has ever lasted more than 1.7 hours working with Detective Larry Morrill in the crime lab.

This young lady is a Bangor native who attends The University of New Haven (we are cool with Connecticut) and is studying forensic science with a concentration in chemistry

Yes, that means she is smarter than us. No bigs.

Maggie is soon to be starting her second year at New Haven and has already completed enough credit hours to be a third year student.

She is kind, works extremely hard, and has helped us classify thousands of fingerprints, assisted Detective Morrill in the Evidence Lab, Property Room, and allowed us to purge evidence from cases that have dispositions. We could not have done this without her help.

The 2016 graduate of Bangor High School would like to work in a crime lab after college and is looking for a crime lab (somewhere in these United States) to intern with next summer.

Now, this might sound like we want to get rid of Maggie Mahaney. We don’t. But I am not going to watch a young lady work this hard at our department (for free) without trying to help her land an even better opportunity next summer.

If you run a crime lab and are looking for some help next summer, drop a message to larry.morrill@bangormaine.gov. He can tell you more about how awesome Maggie is.

Caution-when Maggie is working she tends to put in her headphones and listen to music. We don’t know what it was, but it sure helped her produce. We didn’t dare ask her what her favorite band was. We also know that we would like to wear headphones when working with Detective Morrill.

Thanks, Maggie!

Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.

We will be here. Soon…without Maggie.

TC

P.S. We would like to thank Shawn and Wende Mahaney for loaning us their kid for the summer.

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