The Duck of Justice for 7/20/17: The Duck of Justice is back, along with a new officer
From The Bangor Police Department
The introduction of new officers is always a treat…for Aki.
I asked for photos and since Aki’s handler needed some victims, it was not long before I received some pictures from Officer Jamie Fanning.
One of the rookies is Officer Thomas Bosch-Willett. In his introduction photograph, it appears that he has no desire to carry on the family name(s). It is an illusion, he is well protected and smarter than he appears.
The minute you talk to him, you feel that he is going to give you the logical answer. Sort of like Spock, but with a gun and a dog gnawing on his leg.
Bosch-Willett appears quite pleased with the situation and is waving like a man that is trying to sell you a used police cruiser. This might be my favorite photograph of the week.
I sat him down for a few questions that we ask all the new officers. These are his answers.
How do you normally spend your time off?
TBW: Hiking in Acadia, hanging out with friends, or home-brewing.
TC: You make beer?
TBW: Is it illegal?
TC: Why did you want to become a police officer?
TBW: I wanted to help those who cannot help themselves.
TC: If you were on a deserted island, what three things would you desire besides food and water?
TBW: A house and transportation to and from the island. Because I now have an island.
TC: How would you have ended up on this island?
TBW: I hope I was looking for an adventure and I took a wrong turn.
TC: What is the best piece of advice you can or will give your grandchildren?
TBW: Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.
TC: Hey, that’s my catchphrase.
TBW: It is very good advice.
TC: If I gave you a one hundred dollar bill, what would you do with it?
TBW: I would put it into my 457K, after thanking you for it.
TC: This is merely a rhetorical question.
TBW: *puts hand back in pocket*
TC: Where are you from?
TBW: I am originally from Massachusetts, but I lived in Montana for 5 years. Montana is far better than Massachusetts.
TC: Top three favorite bands?
TBW: I like all music and I am not very picky about whatever is on the radio.
TC: Can you whistle?
TBW: Do you want me to?
TC: How long can you last here at the Bangor Police Department?
TBW: Until they force me to retire at 85 or 90.
TBW: Why not?
TC: What was the best part of the police academy?
TBW: I enjoyed the range weeks. Firearms week was probably my favorite. Being able to practice those skills for five straight days was awesome.
TC: Why did you allow Officer Fanning to let Aki bite you?
TBW: It was something that I have never done and rather invigorating.
TC: You’ll do fine.
Bosch-Willett is doing well according to his field training officers.
We like him and we are happy to have him working with us.
Nice people have been stopping in to see the Duck of Justice.
Made famous after he was miraculously retrieved from a trash receptacle, his worldwide appeal led to his trip to rehab last fall.
Like any big star who goes away for a cleansing experience, he came back looking younger. More about his caregiver and surgeon will be shared in the near future.
His triumphant return has been kept quiet until his new perch could be constructed under the cover of darkness. His Duckness was protected from the view of orbiting spy satellites by draping the drake in an old lead apron that we found discarded behind a dental office on the outskirts of town.
The craftsmen who built his museum-grade podium were sticklers for perfection and were very upset when we broke out a wide-tip Sharpie in preparation to scribble “DOJ” on the rich oak veneer.
I capped the industrial grade marker when one of the Gray boys threatened me with a quick trip to Bucksport “the hard way.” He indicated “the hard way” would be me riding on a bundle of cedar shingles down the Penobscot River to the Penobscot Narrows Bridge. I agreed to order a brass name plate. We will share more about their beautiful work soon. Good guys. Kind of angry, but good guys.
Duck of Justice tee shirts are available at Winterport Boot Shop in Brewer, Maine and at winterportboot.com
The doors to the museum are open and if you stop by to see Melody, QOTFD (Queen of The Front Desk) she will give you a pass to get through security to have your own photo with the world famous duck.
Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.
We will be here. With a duck.