The Duck of Justice for 6/22/17: Some things I am sorry about
From The Bangor Police Department: I cannot always get to all the messages in a timely manner. I have prided myself (up to the last couple of weeks) in being a reasonable responder to messages.
From The Bangor Police Department:
- I cannot always get to all the messages in a timely manner. I have prided myself (up to the last couple of weeks) in being a reasonable responder to messages. The issue is that messages sometimes get lost in the shuffle and I find that there are several unanswered messages lurking among the messages I have already responded to. I am sorry about that. It’s not that I don’t care. I am but one old guy doing my best. Sometimes it just isn’t good enough. There are times that I do read a message and try to give you the happy little blue upward pointing thumb. That means I read it, and it probably means I am running late for a pedicure or something but that I want you to feel the love that only a blue thumb can provide.
- I will not play into politics or answer messages that are an attempt to goad me into speaking about political things. I have worked really hard to stay away from it and I am much happier for that. Sorry-not gonna do it.
- I cannot make people yield to you in a proper manner by writing about it on Facebook. I have passed out some pretty awesome tips, but writing to me about your hatred for those that don’t yield and that I should do something about it will not make people yield, slow down, stop at lights, avoid passing you, or use a seatbelt for their dog. I’ll keep trying and I am sorry I cannot do more. I could yell, but that hasn’t worked that often either.
- I cannot say no to a slice of pizza, even if it’s cold. I am a weak vessel.
- I cannot give out the phone numbers of single and somewhat attractive police officers. This is not Tinder. I have heard some horror stories of actually speeding past police officers in order to meet them. I do not advise that, but if you do it and it works out-please let me write about it. I am always looking for good stories.
- I cannot give you legal advice. I am not an attorney. I have friends who are attorneys (although the number is dwindling) that I have asked questions and they tell me they can’t even give me legal advice. I have no idea what’s up with that. Sorry.
- I cannot tell you when the podium for the Duck of Justice will be done. I know many have stopped by recently and asked and we have not been able to help. It should be soon. As soon as he is on display, I will let you know and we can have a line out the door like we are giving away golden tickets to Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I want to reintroduce him to the world more than you can know. He does look awesome.
- I am also sorry that people are hungry, lonely, too cold, too hot, depressed, sick with diseases that cannot be healed, and feel that no one can help. It is going to take more than me to fix it and that’s where you come in. Do something tomorrow to help one person. Just one person. It’ll be one less thing for you to feel sorry about tomorrow night and that will be a pretty good way to fall asleep.
Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.
All we have is each other.
We will be here.