The Duck of Justice for 6/15/17: Wistful words of wisdom
from The Bangor Police Department:
Graduation: Wistful words of wisdom
Graduation. Off to college, trade school, the military, a new job, a road trip across America. I would personally opt for the latter. Let it be known that Ol’ TC has never been a true conformist. I think random travel with very few plans is the best thing for a headache. And believe me, the headaches are about to begin.
We know that high school is difficult. The thing is, as time goes on, you will look back and remember how great it was to have most of your days planned for you. A list of classes and break times. Practice for sports or drama or whatever other sanctioned endeavors you were involved in. In 10 years, it will be remembered as a pretty good gig.
Right now? Not so much. You are ready to spread your wings. I can hear the song, “I Believe I Can Fly.” Actually I can’t hear it at all because I really don’t like that song. It’s over played and I want to be honest with you; you can’t fly. Yes, the imagery is beautiful and I understand the good feelings it can bring. But I am going to give you a great road trip song and I think the lyrics are more in line with my feelings about enjoying life and mucking through the bad days because every now and then…you will have a great one.
No it’s not Tyga, Taylor Swift, Pitbull or Lil Wayne. It’s Asia. I would point out the Emerson Lake and Palmer or the connection to the band, Yes — but I won’t waste your time. Add it to your music list or road trip music. Listen to the lyrics. It will make you actually feel like you can fly.
I am serious. Just do it. You don’t have to admit it to your friends. I understand that most of you were not born when this song came out. That makes it retro. Fully acceptable for hipsters.
Let me give you a few tips. You might never listen to me if you ran into me at a graduation party because I would be eating too much onion dip and might (would) have residue of your aunt’s ambrosia-salad stuck to the lapel of my leisure suit. Google– leisure suit– and make sure to select images. It will help you become more accepting of others. On second thought you might want to Google– ambrosia salad.
- Gather up two twenty dollar bills, two ten dollar bills, and two five dollar bills. Fold them very tightly and stuff them somewhere accessible. Not too accessible. Debit cards are fine but American cash will get someone to pull you out of a ditch, help get you get a cab, purchase pizza, a bottle of water from a vendor or a great concert tee shirt. Keep it for an emergency. Not for day to day expenses. Try to “almost” forget that you have it. It gives you confidence when the power goes out and ATM’s don’t work.
- Learn to check your own oil, windshield washer fluid, air pressure in your tires. Make sure you can change your own tire in low light and wet conditions. It will be dark and raining when you have to do it. Trust me. When unscrupulous individuals are asked for help in some situations, they might take advantage. Better that you can do this on your own. If you think people are only trying to screw you over through the Internet and phone calls, think again. It has been going on for years.
- Hug your parents. It’s embarrassing sometimes, but just do it. Give your mother and/or father a kiss. Tell them that you love them. If you can do this in front of all your friends, you will be able to speak in public when the time comes.
- Learn to speak in front of groups. Hugging your parents in public will help you overcome the fear of public speaking. Public speaking will help you throughout the rest of you life.
- When someone says, trust me…back away slowly and reassess the situation. As a police officer with hundreds of interviews under my belt, here are a couple more phrases for you to be cognizant of. Remember, they are not always negative but make sure you look over the totality of the circumstances when someone uses the following phrases; Honest to God, I am going to give you a deal, If you are going to take it today, I will give you a special price but you need to buy it right now. Also, these gems: I’ll be right out, to tell you the truth, I don’t want to lie to you, I think that’s all (this is always a lie). You get the idea. Be careful and don’t trust everyone. Not everyone is worthy of your trust. Pay attention and surround yourself with people you do trust.
- Treat people kindly. Look for people who need your help, not just people that ask for help. Sometimes the people that need the help the most will not ask anyone. Pay attention.
- When you meet someone for the first time and you don’t like them at all (this will happen) give them another chance. Some of my favorite people in the entire world are individuals that I did not like (at all) when I first met them. Most of my best friends did not like me at first. I fully understand.
- Lastly, because I tend to go on way too long, treat the people that do the less desirable jobs better than the people doing the seemingly desirable jobs. Those are the people that make the rest of the world worth living in. Trust me. (Just this time because that was one of my warning phrases in #5).
Additionally, you can trust most cops. Seriously. When everything turns to crap and there is nowhere to go, find the police station. We tend to be helpful when people are in need. We won’t ask for your secret stash of cash. Don’t believe everything you see on TV. (that should have been number 10.)
Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone and be kind to one another. The men and women of the Bangor Police Department will be here.